The Democratic Primary race is over. I’ve been hesitant to call it because, as so many people are quick to point out, the Clintons have a tried-and-true fightin’ spirit. “The Superdelegates! The Superdelegates!” those nervous of a Clinton takeover cry out. But let me point out one minor fact: The superdelegates do not matter because she is done. At least, she will be if soon-to-be nominee Barack Obama follows my simple endgame plan.
To the desk of Barack Obama
Subject: How to win the nomination
Step One – Remind voters that you are ready on Day One.
One of the big points the Clinton campaign was pushing for a very time is that she will be “ready from day one” to answer telemarketer phone calls at 3 A.M. or something. Clearly she will be ready on day one, because her campaign for presidency was ready on day one. Right? Wrong. We’ve been in this nominee cycle for some four hundred days, and her campaign has been a wreck since then. Judging by the lack of end-game plan, Hillary was ready to be handed the nomination on a silver platter. You would have figured that after your rousing (arousing?) success in Iowa, she would have realized that you aren’t just a pretty face. Her nice little victory at New Hampshire probably helped to bury any doubt she had that she would be the nominee. Cruise through a nice sweep on Super Tuesday (the first and ONLY Super Tuesday, February 5) then maybe head to back to the Vineyard with Bill for some vacation time.
Oh, wait. Somehow, you managed to deliver a venerable mushroom stamp to both the Clinton campaign and the notion of ‘politics on usual’, Barack. The Clinton Campaign’s utter lack of foresight was no more evident than when they were left scrambling to establish field offices in states with primaries after Feb5. Her campaign manager got the boot five days after Super Tuesday, but that isn’t the only shakeup her camp has seen. Just this past week the delightful Mark Penn – in typical Mark Penn fashion – announced that he would no longer be Clinton’s chief strategist but will still offer strategy advice and be an advisor to the campaign, and then said something to the effect that this was all a media stunt.
To contrast, you have raised millions upon millions of dollars, the vast majority of it from small time donors who are far from maxed out in terms of donation capacity. A news story wil break that Hillary earned $20 million in a single month, and then a few hours later we found out you raised DOUBLE that. I came across a cute little blog post this morning from some Obamaniac who made a $100 contribution to you, but you rejected it because he is a registered lobbyist. How awesome and respectable can you get?!
Sorry. Sometimes I get so enthusiastic and excited wh en thinking about your Presidency, that I may as well be made the poster child for the “idealistic youth”. Where were we? Clinton’s campaign has been one bumble fuck of a disaster of another. If it isn’t kicking out (but not really) a despicable person who is an absolute shithead (I am looking at you, Mark Penn) she is hiring gems like this man:
Meet Terry McAuliffe, Chairman of Senator Clinton’s campaign. Woops!
The point is, Barack, is that YOU are the one who is truly ready from day one. Your campaign is an absolute success story created from the ground up, built on the premise that mobilizing your supporters and putting them to work is the best way to win. Unlike other Democratic campaigns, you haven’t had outstanding bills from stops in Iowa or New Hampshire. You aren’t holding back on paying employees’ health insurance.
Your campaign for the NOMINEE has been executed nearly-perfectly, and it is nothing if not an indicator of things to come both in the national election and then the Presidency. You’ve been outspending Clinton 5 to 1 (thanks to huge fundraising numbers!) on advertising, but it is time you start to hammer on the stark contrast between campaigns. The truth is self-evident.
Step Two: Win Pennsylvania
It isn’t an absolute must for you, i’ll admit. You could lose by 10, 15, 20 points and will still be the nominee. But if, IF, you manage to usurp Hillary in her ‘second home’ it is going to go a long way towards bitchslapping her down. Keep on the offensive!
Step Three: The Superdelegates
The Clinton campaign’s last chance, but you don’t have to worry much about this one. You just picked up your 69th pledged super delegate since February 5. In contrast, poor Hillary has a net loss of two. She still leads by 34 superdelegates, but clearly the supedelegate momentum is in the exact opposite direction she would prefer. It seems like her superdelegate lead dwindles on a daily basis. Probably because it is.
Step Four: Be Yourself
Duh.
It’s the homestretch at this point, Barack my boy. Keep your head down, your sights true, and your voice loud. Sooner or later Hillary will remember that she can’t pull this off, and you can move on to running a fair and honorable campaign against John McCain.
eck eck eck


